I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
