oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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