Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
