they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
