sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
