He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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