In the future we'll all be gay
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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