Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and she was petting her beer can
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
