Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize