i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
