I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
