Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
