IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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