whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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