Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
