You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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