grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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