Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize