I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
