i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
