I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize