That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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