Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
