in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize