am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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