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The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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