Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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