I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
