I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
