No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I lost the right to judge tonight
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
