okay pat passed out under dana's car
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
