I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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