I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
