fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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