this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
organizing the empties. That sober.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
