If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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