Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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