how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
