Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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