He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
