also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
