If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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