$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
