do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
