Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
