If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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