apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
