How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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