Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
barbara walters just said penis...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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