I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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