Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She's not a foreskin expert like you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
