So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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