i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
