i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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