Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
