I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
