remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
