I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
