found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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