Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
meet me or not, i'm out of control
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
