I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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