Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
