Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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