I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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