I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
